


We all have scars- A Malec Fiction

by MalecShipper21



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2017-02-14
Packaged: 2018-09-24 07:10:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9710330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MalecShipper21/pseuds/MalecShipper21
Summary: Alec Lightwood has lately been shying away from everything; the institute, his family, Magnus, and most of all, his and Magnus' intimacy. His loved ones start to notice that this is not simply stress and Magnus intends to find out what it is before the situation can become serious.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This contains self-harm and mental disorders. If you don't feel comfortable reading this then please don't continue to.

Alec was trying so hard. He tried to protect his family; to maintain a strong and healthy relationship with Magnus; he was trying to uphold the Shadowhunter name while being confident in his sexuality and he tried to be a leader. One thing Alec didn't do was try to take care of himself. He lived in a constant state of self-loathing. On top of trying to balance all of the painful and hard tasks of life, he also tried to hard to hide the scars on his wrists and the pain in his voice and the feeling of emptiness inside of him. It only made it harder to be around Magnus, to refuse his offers of intimacy and more revealing fashion choices. Alec was trying too hard, he thought bitterly, and one can only try for so long. Alec had been hiding razors everywhere in these past few months. The craving for that distracting pain was so strong last time that Alec barely staggered into Magnus' loft bathroom before collapsing on the ground and giving in. He felt intense guilt at the confused and hurt expressions of Magnus, and that only made him crave that damn razor even more. Once he was done he would roll down the sleeves of his black shirts down and carefully placing the razor back in its hiding spot. For a spotting moment, when he was done cutting, he felt.... proud. He had done something productive, at least. But once he caught back to reality, he realized the only thing he has done made him hate himself even more. Alec was caught in a vicious cycle. "Alexander, dear, are you mad at me?" Magnus inquired as Alec slowly walked back into the living room, wrists burning. Alec looked up in surprise. "Of course not, why?" Magnus probed him with his green gold cat eyes carefully. "Because we haven't been a couple these past few months, that's why." Magnus rose, anger burning in his eyes. "Because every time I try and cuddle with you, you make up a feeble excuse to leave, and every time I offer to have sex you say you're busy, and every single damn time I try and get close to you, you shut me down." Magnus' voice has risen into a crescendo, and he broke off his tirade breathing heavily. Alec was shocked into silence. He had entertained the idea of telling Magnus his problems, but quickly shut it down. "I-I'm just-I need-I'm sorry-I have to-I need to leave." Alec fleed the loft, his face white and streaked with tears, leaving Magnus smoldering. After thinking for a second, Magnus called Isabelle's cell. "This better be good, Magnus, I'm in the middle of a face mask." Magnus rolled his eyes and answered. "Has Alec been acting weird around you lately?" Izzy paused. "As a matter of fact, I was just going to ask you that tomorrow. He hasn't worn anything but long sleeves, even when he's training, and he's been shying away from everybody, shut up in his room all of the time." Magnus facepalmed. "I think I'm going to get Alec to reveal what he's been hiding lately, whether he likes it or not." He stiffly hung up the phone, and simutaneously went white in the face when the full implications of Alec's behavior dawned on him. "I am going to KILL him." Magnus growled. He was exhausted from the day, and curled up in his bed, and fell asleep. Magnus had woke up a few hours later, and started planning his attack on Alec. He decided he was going to do this the hard way, since Alec clearly wasn't responding to gentleness. He patiently waited until he heard the familiar click of his front door lock and a soft voice. "Magnus? I'm sorry about today. Can we make up for it sometime?" He looked at Magnus pleadingly, who promptly stood up, snapped his fingers, and bound Alec by magic. "M-Magnus, what are you doing?" He struggled against the bonds, panicking, only to look up to Magnus, whose eyes were a dark, stormy green. "Alexander Gideon Lightwood. I have been with you for a long time. Long enough to tell when you're happy, sad, disappointed. And I know you well enough to know when something is wrong." He paused, looking at Alec, who was avoiding eye contact stubbornly. "I've talked to Isabelle, and if you are doing what I think you are doing, then God help you." He snapped his fingers and untied Alec. Before long Alec was bolting towards the door. Not fast enough. Magnus leapt onto him like a flame on paper. He pinned a struggling Alec down and stopped when he saw him crying silently. "Am I hurting you? Whats wrong?" Alec just shook his head and struggled harder, but Magnus held on tightly, and never let go. With one sad look at his loved one, he snapped his fingers and Alec's shirt was off. Scars littered Alecs pale skin, from the wrist to the forearm, going dangerously close to the vein and some still bleeding. "Let me go, LET ME GO MAGNUS" Alec was screaming, trying to jerk his arms away from Magnus. "Alexander, please listen. I don't know how this happened, and I'm sorry I didn't notice earlier. Please, don't do this. Not to me." Magnus whispered, close to Alecs electric blue eyes. "Magnus, I'll try. I promise you to try. I can't do much else." Magnus avoided looking at him, and binding him with magic, he started to heal him. "Magnus, please don't, I don't know what to do without those, please Magnus." He started sobbing, and Magnus paused to hug him and kiss him on the cheek. "I'm doing this because I love you, Alec, and if you don't want this to happen, I can install 24/7 monitoring at the Institute and here." Alec shook his head violently. After his cuts were healed Magnus unbinded him and let Alec collapse into his chest, sobbing, filled with more pain than Magnus could bear. "It's okay, love, it's okay now. Darling, I still have one more thing to take care of." Alec looked up, secrets hidden flashed in his eyes momentarily. "You will give me those razors, and you will do that right now." Alec knew better than that and went to collect them. By the end he had 3 total, from different parts of the house. "No more of this. No more bottling feelings up and no more miscommunication." He nodded weakly, and Magnus looked at him. "I love you, you know that right?" Alec kissed him, and without speaking, led him to the room, where they fell asleep, intertwined.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you! Feel free to leave a review and please Kudos!


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